


I Lost a Friend I Never Had

by SpitzOfSpirit



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Feels, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Oops, Professor Membrane Tries to Be a Better Parent, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad Zim (Invader Zim), Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24254254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpitzOfSpirit/pseuds/SpitzOfSpirit
Summary: I lost my mind, and nobody believes meSay, "I know that he don't need me'Cause he made a little too much money to be 20 and sad"And I'll be fine without 'emBut all I do is write about 'emHow the hell did I lose a friend I never had?
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 44





	I Lost a Friend I Never Had

**Author's Note:**

> y'all listen to I Lost a Friend by FINNEAS its what inspired me :^)

"Zim!" Gaz's voice rang in his antenna. Zim was laying down in his lab. His vision was blurry, and he couldn't recall why. Blinking a few times, he made out Gaz's form in his surveillance camera, wearing more black than normal. The alien felt heavy, probably after another fight with the Dib.  
At the thought of the human, Zim felt more pain--not the physical kind.  
"Zim! Come on, we're going to be late!"  
Late for what? he thought.  
Nothing felt important anymore. Only one thing was important to Zim, but he can't figure out what. His mind had failed him.  
GIR walked in with his disguise on, holding Zim's wig and contact lenses, along with black clothing.  
"Master..." The robot's voice was unusually quiet.  
"'Puter..." The irken mumbled. Hearing his computer respond, he said, "Let the Dib's scary sister in."  
GIR approached his master, placed the items down, and sat next to him. He reached out his arm, laying his hand on Zim's shoulder.  
A moment passed, and he soon found that Gaz was looming over him.  
"You look worse than I thought." She said quietly.  
Zim grumbled in response.  
Oh, Irk, when did they begin to look so similar?  
"Zim, I'm not leaving without you."  
"Zim feels to weird to do anything."  
"You were involved in his life more than I was," she cleared her throat. "You deserve to be there."  
Were...Past tense.  
Suddenly, his mind was stirring.  
'Membrane family torn to shreds.'  
"Don't do it for me, Zim."  
'Why on Irk are there so many MEAT bags?!'  
"Do it for him."  
'Professor Membrane: I never expected it.'  
"Do it for Dib."  
Zim sat upright.  
\------------  
Zim gloated to Dib over the phone. He decided to get one since everyone else had one, and he wanted to blend in.  
Zim rambled on about it superiority over Dib, and Dib would usually add in some ruse remarks, but that day he was quiet.  
Zim should've known.  
After awhile, he heard him sniffling. Zim was confused. Dib had just turned eighteen, and Dib was trying to get him riled up, not...whatever Dib was doing.  
"Is the Dib moved by my Irken might?"  
"Yeah," the Dib sighed. "Yeah I am."  
Zim felt he should've smiled and gloated some more, but he stayed quiet, waiting.  
"Zim?" Dib asked after awhile of silence. "What?" Zim said.  
"I think...I think we could've been good friends."  
That was the last time the two spoke.  
The next day, Zim stormed over to the Dib's base, more confused than enraged by such a suggestion.  
What Zim had with Dib was the closest thing to being wanted.  
After the tallest let Zim know he was defective and an exile, the only one there to get Zim to feel normal again was Dib.  
If Zim was honest, he did often think of Dib as more of an enemy. Friends.  
Zim shook his head to get rid of that fantasy. Dib made it clear that he hated Zim on multiple occasions.  
But why say what he said?  
The closer the disguised alien got to Dib's house, the more humans there were. Zim sneered. It was most likely something his father was up to. He could even hear his voice.  
Zim looked down after stepping on something. It was a newspaper. It read: "Membrane family torn to shreds."  
Zim panicked. Had someone torn the Dib into shreds? Without Zim's consent? Dib was HIS enemy. No one else's.  
But he heard Professor Membrane's voice...so they weren't!  
The Irken began to push through the crowd. People looked and gasped sadly.  
"It's that green friend of his."  
"Does he know?"  
"They were always together."  
Why on Irk are there so many of these MEAT bags, Zim thought.  
"Zim!" called out a familiar voice.  
He turned around and looked at the ginger.  
"Keef?" Zim asked, confused even more as to why Keef was here if Dib hated him more than he hated Zim.  
"Keef-boy! I demand to know why the Dib's house is all a cluster!" Zim shouted over the noise.  
Keef bent down closer to Zim. "Do you not know?" He asked in a hushed voice.  
Zim felt angry thag everyone seemed to know why they were at Dib's living-quarters. "What?! What does everyone know what Zim doesn't?"  
The next few words were a blur.  
The last thing he heard before shutting down was: "I never expected it."  
\-----------  
Zim was pulled back into the presentby Gaz wiping away Zim's tears.  
Gaz tried really hard to hide it, bjt sje was hurting, too. Zim could see it in her eyes.  
"Zim," her voice cracked. "Get ready."  
~  
Gaz gave Zim his own umbrella since it was raining.  
Dib would've questioned why it always rained during funerals.  
Zim's grip on his umbrella tightened.  
GIR was holding onto Zim's free hand, his costume was his usual green dog but with a suit on the outside.  
Why was Dib the only one to see through their horrible disguises?  
A man in a robe was talking about a 'God' and how Dib will be accepted in this 'God's' arms, that he won't be condemned to 'Hell.'  
Zim couldn't look at anyone. He heard people crying, and was filled with rage. These stupid humans hurt Dib on a worse level than Zim. They should not be here.  
Especially his father, who won't even look at his son's casket, where Dib lies.  
That's the part Zim hates. Dib's not even 20 feet away, and he can't even see him. His stupid face. He'll never see it again.  
The man asked if anyone wanted to say a few words, and a few people walked up one at a time to the podium. Zim wouldn't listen to their lies.  
Then there was a hand on his shoulder. Zim turned his head and looked up.  
"You should say something about him. You two spent the most time together." Dib's parental unit said softly to him. Zim narrowed his eyes. He stood up, shaking off his hand from his shoulder.  
GIR walked with him on his way to the podium, Gaz was up there, too. He looked in her eyes and something clicked.  
It was sadness in his eyes that Zim saw all those years. Now he sees it in his sister.  
Once he was up to the podium, he refused to look at anyone. He only looked st where Dib was.  
"We were never friends," were his first words. He heard a few gasps and a singular sigh. Zim grit his teeth.  
"We were enemies, and was a worthy one. It should've been me that would end his life, not-"  
he stopped, not wanting to say the next words.  
"The last thing he said to me was something I could only dream of. I saw his sadness as an advantage, but now I see that...that he's been in this unimaginable pain that no one could've helped him with." Zim put both of his hands on his umbrella, screwing his eyes shut. "It's true. The Dib and Zim were always together. But I was too selfish to see- to see that-" His voice was breaking. He could only see Dib in all his victories, his smile when he triumphed over Zim. Dib's voice was stuck in his head.  
'We could've been good friends.'  
Zim inhaled to rainy air.  
"I knew more about Dib-thing than anyone else. I knew that he wanted to be as great of a scientist as his 'dad.' He wanted to explore space, he wanted to know if there is anything more out there. He had more questions than answers. Most of all, what makes you humans the worst, is that he wanted to be loved for who he is." Zim thought the rain was reaching his face, but figured since it wasn't burning that he was crying.  
"I was the only one close enough to give him attention he craved. I was the only one who noticed his brilliance! I was the only one who ever cared about him!"  
Zim opened his eyes, anger taking over him.  
"Dib did nothing wrong! He only wanted to protect all of you! If your 'God' is so loving and forgiving, then tell me why Dib is gone! Tell me why he took him!"  
When no one responded, Zim kept yelling.  
"I'm the one who's done wrong! I'm the one who should've-"  
Next thing he knew, he was being engulfed in a hug by a person and a robot. GIR and Gaz were both sobbing. Zim didn't fight it. It only added as support to what he said next, " I'm the only one who LOVED HIM."  
~  
After everyone applauded him, the Membrane father was a mess.  
Everyone said there last goodbyes, Gaz, Zim, and GIR stood together by Dib's tombstone watching the Dub being lowered into the ground.  
Where he'll rot.  
Zim was still shocked that he'll never see Dib's stupid face again.  
Gaz and Zim were both crying, and GIR was trying to comfort them both.  
"I h-hope he's happier now..."  
"How c-can he b-be happy?! He's in the ground!"  
~  
Gaz, on the way back to Zim's base, told him about heaven. So he only hoped Dib was there.  
This world didn't deserve him.  
Once Zim got inside, he dropped his umbrella and slumped on the door, continuing his crying.  
He felt pathetic. The 'Great Almighty' Zim, reduced to tears over his enemy. He should be glad. He could finally prove himself to his Tallests.  
'You don't need them to do what you want to do!'  
Dib was right...Zim didn't need the Tallests to be happy. Yet, he realized something else.  
He needed his Dib to be happy.  
This only made him sob even harder than before. His only source of happiness was gone.  
"Master!" GIR yelled after he appeared from the kitchen. "I have a surprise!"  
"GIR! I'm n-not in the mood!"  
GIR ran up to Zim, and began to tug on his arm. "GIR..." Zim mumbled. Soon enough, he let his minion (literally) drag him down to his lab.  
As they got there, a wave of nostalgia hit him.  
Pictures and videos of the Dib of all ages were around him. All of their battles, all of their reluctant teamwork, and that one video Dib was suppose to delete- it was Zim and Dib hugging.  
More tears poured out of his eyes, but Zim was smiling. He walked closer to the screen of the two hugging. Zim remembers the things Dib said when they were forced to be friends.  
'Zim, I'm glad you came to Earth.'  
These conflicting emotions didn't start until a few years back. That video was when Dib and Zim wanted each other dead. Over the years, they unknowingly bonded.  
'I may be the only one that knows what you are Zim, but that doesn't mean I've given up just yet!'  
Dib's voice was all around him. Zim then felt he had failed Dib. Was it Zim's fault that Dib wasn't hear anymore?  
Did Dib give up on Zim?  
The alien sighed, ready to leave, until he heard one of Dib's speeches about being Earth's protector.  
Zim stopped in his tracks. If Dib's gone, who's going to protect Earth?  
Zim watched GIR smiling at one of the photos, and Zim felt a new purpose surge through him.  
Zim will take Dib's place, not to replace him, but to honor him.  
Zim will protect the Earth for Dib.  
Just then-  
"Thank you, Zim."  
He whizzed around, looking through every crook and cranny for Dib. Even though he heard the voice behind him, he looked nonetheless.  
His hand reached up to his face, wiping away his tears. He felt as if he were being watched, but the usual anxiety that would accompany that feeling was not there. Instead, he felt at peace.  
"I miss you."

**Author's Note:**

> i might post the alternate ending if this gets positive reviews ;)


End file.
